Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying

[ROLAND JACOB VOGEL]

"What's up?
It's Rollie and you've obviously reached my voicemail...
So just leave your info and shit and I'll get back to you later."

ONE Frank-A-Skank TWO Kenneth
THREE Nerfertari FOUR Wikkid
FIVE Dima SIX Day
SEVEN empty EIGHT empty
NINE empty TEN empty



DEFAULT Big Poppa by Notorious B.I.G
FAMILY Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo
FRIENDS Pawn Shop by Sublime
UNKNOWNAenema by Tool
TEXT ALERT N.I.B bass intro by Black Sabbath
VOICEMAIL ALERT Eulogy by Tool
MISSED CALL Date Rape by Sublime

[ROLAND JACOB VOGEL]

FRANCESCO CAPONE
"Frank-A-Skank"
can be reached at 635 - 6662

Mister machoman is it true that all the girls wanna cum on you? You keep on telling me you're the best; I wanna put your lovin' to the test. Get your tigerbaby out of it's cage; I wanna measure it, starting at the base. Rock your body from the left to the right; rock your body, make you struggle and fight. Make me hunger, make my honey flow free- a taste of sugar for a horny busy bee.

[ROLAND JACOB VOGEL]

[img]TWO MATCHING[/img] [img]100x100 ICONS[/img]
[font=Arial Black][color=ABBB86][size=5]FIRST LAST
"LEAVE BLANK"[/size][/color][/font]
[font=courier new]can be reached at ### - ####[/font]
[color=ABBB86][size=1][i]leave this blank- rollie decides your ringtone, not you ^^[/i][/size][/color]

[center][color=ABBB86][b]1 UNHEARD VOICEMAIL[/b][/color]
FROM [color=ABBB86][b]NICKNAME HERE[/b][/color]
[blockquote][blockquote][blockquote][blockquote][size=1]voicemail here [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/center]


[blockquote][/blockquote][blockquote][/blockquote]
[center][color=ABBB86][b]1 UNREAD TEXT MESSAGE[/b][/color]
FROM [color=ABBB86][b]NICKNAME HERE[/b][/color]
[blockquote][blockquote][blockquote][blockquote][size=1]message here [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/center]

[center][color=ABBB86][b]1 UNSEEN PICTURE MESSAGE[/b][/color]
FROM [color=ABBB86][b]NICKNAME HERE[/b][/color]
[img]appreciated if no bigger by 460 width, if so, resize[/img]
[blockquote][blockquote][blockquote][blockquote][size=1]message here [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/center]

[FRANCESCO DOMINIQUE CAPONE]

1 UNHEARD VOICEMAIL
FROM Frank-A-Skank

-long silence- You....ass. I want you to know, that I am like very unhappy with you. -pauses- You ate... all my fucking poptarts. Like seriously, man? SERIOUSLY?! The main food I crave after smokin'? Dude that's just like... that's like fucked up. You have like... no idea how heartbroken I am. Not cool, Man. Not cool like at all. I expect my poptarts to be replenished by the morning. Later, Fat Ass- hope you fucking enjoyed my food.

[KENNETH REESE WARRENS]

1 UNHEARD VOICEMAIL
FROM KENNETH

hey fatass, wanna explain why all my skittles are gone? I mean, I bought a whole fuckin' bag, man! A DELUXE bag which means it was nearly as big as you! What the hell, dude! Stop being a dick n' eatin' all our food, or we'll both kick your ass
-Frankie being obnoxiously loud in the background- "RIGHT IN THE MOTHER FUCKIN ASS"
-muffled yelling by Kenny- Frankie, shut the hell up AND STOP DRINKING MY DRINK, ASSHOLE DX<
-retarded yelling in the background, obviously Frankie >.>-
Uuuh... Oh yeah! Stop eating our food, you fat motherfucker!

[FRANCESCO DOMINIQUE CAPONE]

1 UNHEARD VOICEMAIL
FROM FRANK-A-SKANK

-snickers hysterically- Oh shit... shhh, shhhh, fucktard. It beeped -whispers to Kenny x]- ...
-tries to disguise a chick's voice XD- Um... heyyy stud muffin -high pitched, obviously fucking drunk xD- I just wanted to tell you how fucking sexy you are.
-can hear kenny laughing in the background-
I'm really diggin' your titties and that nice little gut you have... Mmmm. Sexy stuff, sexy stuff. Well baby you should call me some time- I need a Woah-man to hold me through the night and wrap me up in those big, flabby rolls.
-Kenny's failed attempt at a girl voice- "Those sexy ass jelly rolls!"
I love you jelly bear. -forgets to hit end and laughs hysterically- Dude this is fucking awesome -to kenny x]- I don't think I star sixty-seven'd it, though...
-Kenny talking- "Dude you didn't hit end!"
-realization moment- Oh fuck... -clicks end-

[KENNETH REESE WARRENS]

1 UNHEARD VOICEMAIL
FROM KENNETH

-ten minutes after the first one-
-music in the background and a dish breaking-
FRANKIE, WHAT DIDJA BREAK?!
-muffled yelling by Frankie-
"Nothing! It fell by itself!"
Dishes don't fall by themshe-themselves, asswipe!
-some moronic laughter and then just the music playing for a few seconds-
Oh shit, dude, I'm on his voicemail!
-more laughter-
Duude, Roolllie, I know you're fat n' alll.... but.. do ya gotta be soo loud when ya walk? Roll if ya gotta get aroun..d.. it'd be quieter then
-some chuckles-
I'm tryin' to get some sleep... n' you're makin' it really hard to do.... those loud thumps keep wakin' me up! I know you ain't gettin' laid, so roooll, alllright?!
Thanks bro, it's appre -phone clicks off-

[KENNETH REESE WARRENS]

1 UNHEARD VOICEMAIL
FROM KENNETH

-two seconds later-
appreciated

[FRANCESCO DOMINIQUE CAPONE]

1 UNHEARD VOICEMAIL
FROM FRANK-A-SKANK

-fifteen minutes after last call-
-moaning in the background from porn- Dude... like.... Roland... like why...? -pauses for a few moments- Why do you eat all our food, man?
-Kenny- "Yeah, Man, why?"
We need food too, ya know...
-Kenny- "Food, man, food."
You're just so.... so fat. You could share... You really could.
-Kenny- "Share the fat."
-scoff with laugh- No, man. Share the food.
-Kenny- "That too..."
-pauses- You're like one of those... fuckin'.... what's it called, Kenny? Those big things...
-Kenny- "...Dinosaurs?"
-sigh- No, man, no... they have the faces and shit...
-Kenny- "Oh! The bears and shit?"
-sigh- No, jackass... the fuckin' things with the -accidently drops phone and picks it back up because he was trying to do a stupid hand motion- Sorry Rollie. -pauses, moaning in the background still xD- Get it, biatch... get the pussaaayyyyyy. -pauses again- SNORLAX! -loud thud-
-Kenny- "Don't fuckin' hit my chest, you fuck" -another thud xD-
Ow you fuck... -mumbles before continuing- You're like a fuckin' Snorlax, dude... just stop... -quiet again- KENNY DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!
-Kenny laughing hysterically- "What the fuck, dude?"
STOP FUCKING RAPING ME -obnoxiously loud and hangs up xD-

[FRANCESCO DOMINIQUE CAPONE]

1 UNSEEN PICTURE MESSAGE
FROM FRANK-A-SKANK

i sawdd is & i thgut aobut uuu, lloz

[FRANCESCO DOMINIQUE CAPONE]

1 UNSEEN PICTURE MESSAGE
FROM FRANK-A-SKANK

sroyg ditn knoe hwo 2 attwch 2 pctyrse 2 1 mwesssshr. u 2 veha lutd n cmn. mawke godoo coiuiple

[KENNETH REESE WARRENS]

1 UNREAD TEXT MESSAGE
FROM KENNETH

area yous srttjukill uuip/ cgohmme ggfet rdunk :::)1

[FRANCESCO DOMINIQUE CAPONE]

1 UNREAD TEXT MESSAGE
FROM FRANK-A-SKANK

ewhrwe yiu ta//? waekes yp afsr sas. cmoer efgt waefrtrd.,.,

[FRANCESCO DOMINIQUE CAPONE]

1 UNREAD TEXT MESSAGE
FROM FRANK-A-SKANK

i lorrbr oyiu duuede.,,. adnd i relaity misdf ypoy,. oi wesidh yuo were hree. onoe ofg thsssse stdsupid fucls odfre lofvden lkie yupi dso. xxxx] dfuvckin tetsfxt meeeeeee basck alesrrrady.

[namidwaya]

1 UNSEEN PICTURE MESSAGE
FROM DIMA

FWD: ...why? why me? he's dressed as a giant bumblebee with two different shoes and has a cape on... not to mention somehow got his bald ass fuckin' head blue... dad has reached a whole new stoned.