BURN IT DOWN • ziga

[JERICHO THEODORE RANSOM]

The night had passed in a slow blur, no sleep had taken place. Like most nights, Jericho was unable to stay asleep, mostly because of the dreams. Thus his early start to the day, which consisted of many cigarettes and plenty of Jack Daniels. Even though his energy was at a dangerous low, the alcohol seemed to keep him going. He seemed like a zombie, not able to think clearly, or act quickly. Then again, being sleep deprived would do that to a person. Perhaps sleeping pills would have helped him out a bit, that was something to consider. He would just have to grab a few from his brothers, surely they wouldn't mind too much. Then again, the kid didn't really care either way. If it meant that he would be able to stay asleep, well hell he would do anything.

He sighed as he sat lifelessly on the couch, eyes glued to the television. There wasn't too much on, nothing good at least. Of course, it was earlier in the day, which meant that there wouldn't be anything on until later. He gulped down the rest of his jack and coke before pulling his attention away from the screen, scanning the area around him. His brother's were both out, most likely working. That was something that Jericho should have been doing, even though he thought that he deserved a little break. Which was probably why he decided to skip out on work for the day, call it a 'sick' day. He wasn't exactly lying completely, the boy didn't feel the greatest. Although, he could have went in, he just didn't want to. Vinnie would probably give him hell for it later, only because he didn't want anything to go wrong. If Jericho were to be fired, well, then they were all screwed.

The young man downed another drink of straight Jack before lifting himself off of the couch, stumbling forward a bit. He caught his balance as he gripped onto the arm of the couch, pausing for a brief moment. Exhaling deeply he let go, pulling a hoodie over his dark shirt. He then slipped into his shoes and grabbed his keys. He wasn't accomplishing much by sitting around the room, so he might as well take a walk. Besides, it was probably a good idea for him to get out, clear his mind a bit. Without wasting anymore time he locked the door behind him and made his way over to the asylum. It was a funny thought, wandering around an insane asylum for something to do. Jericho never pictured himself to be there, that was for sure, unless of course he was sitting on the other side. There were a few times in his life that he thought for sure that he would be thrown in the loony bin. That was, of course, before Grace barged into his life. The woman was so stubborn, so dedicated on making everyone’s life better. She was so pure, so innocent. The female was truly a saint, look where it got her.

Eventually the boy stopped in front of the chapel, the one place he wasn't really planning on walking into. What the hell, as long as he was there, it only made sense to sit around for awhile. He quietly took a seat at one of the back pews, even though he was the only individual there. It seemed rather strange, then again, it was still fairly early. Jericho swallowed hard as he gazed toward the front, eyes lingering on the statue. The memories began to flood back, visions of his mother dancing within his mind. She was a big believer in God, she even tried to push her faith onto her boys. It was only because she wanted them to have something to believe in, to keep their faith up in the darkest of times. It didn't exactly go as planned, even though Jericho fell for it for the longest time. It was her death that broke his faith, what kind of God would let something that awful happen? She deserved the world, yet she was taken out of it, and for what? Some stupid point to be made? It was bullshit.

Glossy eyes dropped their stare from the front, landing to the ground in front on him. He swallowed hard, leaning forward, letting his elbows rest on the pew before him. Maybe it was the alcohol stirring in his gut, causing his feeling to come rushing together. Normally he wasn't the type to spill his emotions out, no, he did that alone, without the judging looks from everyone around. That was another thought, there wasn't exactly anyone around him at the moment, giving him time to vent to himself. There wasn't really a point, it wasn't going to do much, it certainly wasn't going to bring her back. His glare shot back to the front, frustration washing over his face. ”Why did you have to take her? If there really is a God up there.” His voice drifted through the chapel in a rough tone, his expression staying hard. ”Why the fuck did you let it happen?” Maybe it was a tad disrespectful to swear in the presence of the Lord, however he wasn't really in the caring mood. He was pissed, to say the least. This 'God' wasn't there when he was supposed to be. Why didn't Jericho matter? How was he supposed to have faith when his life had been ripped apart. It made no sense to him.

His gaze lifted to the ceiling as he leaned back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. ”Bullshit.” That's all it was, a load of shit. He could only imagine how mad his mother would be, hearing the way he speaking, hell she got angry when her boys threw around cuss words. Though, swearing at God, that was a whole different story.

WORDS
9 8 2
TAGGED
Open !
OUTFIT
Coming soooon.
MUSIC
N/A.
NOTES
N/A.[/blockquote]

[ANNEBEL TERREO ZIGA]

angel of light


i see you
glow in the night

Ablutomania was a specific form of OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder, where one would feel the absolute need to wash themselves, multiple times after nearly any activity. It was often confused with aboulomania due to the close spelling, but aboulomania was a pathological indecisiveness, and not anything close to ablutomania. Ablutophobia, like ablutomania, had to due with washing, except the former was a fear of washing ones self instead of the compulsive need to. When a fear develops into a phobia, one risks the chance of coming to be overly paranoid, which could lead to psychosis, and in extreme cases, lead to some sort of personality disorder.

All of this information was going through the blonde woman's head as she lay awake on her couch. In a few short days, she would have to go through a mandatory psychological evaluation and go through multiple tests to renew her license to perform psychiatry. Apparently, some of the higher-ups in Xavier were not to pleased with her recent behavior, and demanded her to be evaluated and tested. She though it ironic that they were demanding it now, where she was sure she had committed far worse grievances without their caring. Mattias must have recently had a stick shoved up his ass, because suddenly he was demanding top performance of his staff, something he hadn't done for over thirty years.

Around ten months back, the young doctor had received news from home that had caused her to flee the asylum without any notice. Her father had suffered from a stroke, and had passed before she could arrive to him. After losing her mother and her sister at such an early age, she found herself without any family left. Dropping into a severe depression, she did not return to the asylum for nearly two months. However, the young woman did pull herself out of her stupor and came back to the place, only to find that Mattias had suddenly straightened the place up, and her sudden absence had not passed unnoticed. Through dumb luck she managed to escape any confrontation or punishment for her actions and kept herself out of trouble. Of course, that was until one of her patience acted up. Her most famous patient, the high risk terror, Saben Renner.

The young female doctor was known by her peers as the woman who befriended Saben - Carlos, one of the asylum's cooks, sais she was 'the one who tamed the beast'. Of course, there was no taming involved- Saben would always be Saben, and she was fairly certain she would not be able to change his ways. Nevertheless, she had befriended him, and often enjoyed his company. She was the first psychiatrist to take him out of a straight jacket, and she was also fairly certain she had been the first psychiatrist to lock herself in a room with him. When Saben had found that one of her more violent patients had struck his psychiatrist, someone he had learned to care about, he turned to his violent nature. Saben had located the young man, mutilated his body and strung him high above the young woman's desk. Sent into a fit of hysteria after discovering the gory scene, she charged into Saben's room, and demanded answers. Definitely not the actions of someone who was sound of mind, locking themselves in a room with a cannibal.

Which lead Ziga to where she was now. studying her brains out to prove that she was fit to do her job. The task was long, frustrating, tedious, and mind numbing. But she loved her job, and so Ziga was determined to get her clean bill of health, even if it meant staying up through a seemingly endless stream of sleepless nights preparing for the event.

A grumbling noise caused Ziga to turn her head, and she spotted Koli, her German shepherd, looking at her with an annoyed expression on his face. A grin spread across the young woman's face, and in realizing that she had noticed him, Koli took the opportunity to spring up from his spot on the floor and prance over to the door, scratching at it with his paw. Taking amusement in the dog's restlessness, she pulled herself off the couch, stretched for a moment, her muscles aching from sitting in the same spot for so long, and then made her way to the door. She looked down at her furry friend, "Yeah, I was getting a bit bored as well, " she said to the dog, humor coloring her voice.

After leaving the staff dorms, they walked outside for a little while, Koli never straying too far from Ziga's side. It was relatively warm out, something she was glad of since she hadn't brought a jacket. The sun was just peaking over the horizon, throwing colors all over the sky. Really, a beautiful morning. Ziga lifted her head and let a soft breeze tousle her hair, another smile gracing her lips, and the stress of what was to come fell off her.

She and Koli continued their wandering, at some point they came into the asylum itself and wandered the halls of the first floor. She didn't dare take Koli into any other lace other than the first floor, as it was the only safe place for her dog to be. The second, third, and fourth held patients who might find it funny to mutilate him, so she didn't take the chance. It was much too early for any patients to be out wandering, so she didn't have to worry about running into anyone potentially dangerous at the moment.

A loud, masculine voice interrupted their peaceful stroll. Both woman and animal stopped in their tracks as angry curses echoed just outside to the hallway, coming from the chapel, which they were only a few feet from. Koli's hackles rose, and he progressed forward in the large room, the young doctor close behind him. Ziga stopped at the door, and she looked around the room until her eyes found the man whom the angry voice belonged to, sitting in a pew near the front of the chapel. The dog found him by smell and movement, and cautiously made his way up to the man.

Ziga herself was not a very religious person, though she did believe in God. Perhaps, maybe a year ago, if she had found someone cursing at the heavens in a holy place, she would have scolded them, but she did no sch thing now. She understood. After she had lost her father, Ziga had found herself drunk and using every word in the book directed at God. At that time, she had hated her savior for taking the only person left for her away. She had been filled with anger and hatred. It had taken her a long time to calm her heart, and make peace with the Lord again. Listening to the man's words, Ziga figured he had lost someone important too. So instead of saying anything, she remained silent, and leaned again the door in the chapel entrance, watching her dog approach the stranger.

but you only bring
darkness
to my soul

word count:
one one seven six
lyrics:
angel of light -- petra
clothing:
clicketh!
pets:
click for koli!
notes:
hope you dont mind me popping in!

[JERICHO THEODORE RANSOM]

The man held his glossy stare to the sky, swallowing hard. Jericho couldn't remember the last time he actually let it all out, perhaps he never did. There had been quite a bit of crying at the funeral, then again, most came from Grace's relatives. He was a tough kid, didn't really like others seeing the weak side of him. Of course, he got that from his brother, Vinnie. He learned a lot from him over the years, the most notable being to never let your enemies see your weakness. That's what got them into the mess in the first place, Grace had been their weakness. She didn't deserve to be thrown into it all, she was innocent to the crimes her boys had committed. She just happened to get caught in the middle without even knowing it. God, it frustrated the boy so much, why the hell did it have to end like that?

The alcohol slowly pumped through his body, the effects still lingering within his system. It would all hit him at once the second he were to stand, so sitting seemed like a rather good idea at the moment. He didn't exactly want to stick around the chapel for much longer, though. He would only end up getting himself into trouble, which he was supposed to avoid. He dropped his stare back to the ground, wiping away the fresh tears welling within his eyes with his sleeve. ”Fuck it.” His voice dropped down to a low whisper, not exactly caring if anyone were to hear it. ”You were never there.” Jericho had been through a lot in his short life, most of which turned out for the worst. The only good thing to ever happen to him was being found by Grace, and having brothers such as Vinnie and Ryker. Those were the only reasons for the young man to believe in God, and now that one of them had been taken from him, well, he was quickly starting to lose faith.

He swallowed hard, his gaze catching sight of something unusual. Jericho cocked a brow as he took notice of the dog that was approaching him. It was a rather strange situation, seeing any sort of animal in the asylum, then again, he hadn't really been there for very long. He watched as the dog crept closer to him, the corner of his mouth slowly tilting up to form a half smirk. Pausing for a brief moment, the male stretched his arm forward, letting his hand hover before the canine's nose. After a few seconds he placed his hand on top of the Shepherd's head, petting him gently. Jericho had always wanted to get a dog of his own, something he could take care of, grow close to. Of course, his parents never let him keep anything, and buying a dog for their son would be taking away from themselves. As for Grace, well she thought it was a good idea, however they never really got around to doing it.

Eventually Jericho let his hand fall from the dog, sightly turning his body at feeling of being watched. Sure enough, standing in the doorway was a female, a rather good looking one at that. His eyes took in her image, silky skin, thick blonde hair, a clear vision of perfection. The man couldn't help but flash a smile, well, somewhat of a smile. He wasn't exactly sure if he was in the mood to have company, then again, it wasn't his place to shoo away a lady. He had high respect for the opposite sex, especially after meeting Grace. Before her coming into his life, not so much. He didn't really have a great mother figure though, so how could he have known that they weren't all the same? At least now he was less hesitant about it all. Clearing his throat slightly, he turned back to the front of the room, folding his arms across his chest.

WORDS
6 6 3
TAGGED
Open !
OUTFIT
Coming soooon.
MUSIC
N/A.
NOTES
Of course not, I'm glad you did. ^^[/blockquote]

[ANNEBEL TERREO ZIGA]

angel of light


i see you
glow in the night

There were so many broken people held within the asylum. The patients were obvious, and even the sheer number of them was simply astounding. But even the staff, the guards and the psychiatrists and the nurses, they were all broken too. Filled with loss and violence, and so much sadness. Perhaps it was Xavier itself that drew in these people. Perhaps this place found the souls of the broken all across the world and brought them in it's halls. To keep them safe? Maybe. Maybe to make them all suffer together, it was impossible to tell.

A small smile played on Ziga's lips as she saw the man interact with Koli. Her German Shepherd had a habit of making friends here at the asylum, and often wandered the staff dormitories to find all of his buddies. There were, of course, some staff members that he didn't like, which Ziga took as a sign to steer clear of those few.

She saw the man turn to her, and she simply stared back evenly at him, the tiny smile still on her lips. When he turned back to the front of the chapel, she watching him for a few more moments before deciding to join him, walking forward and taking a seat in the same pew as the man. Koli, sitting in between the two, turned his head between Ziga and the stranger before finally keeping his eyes on the man. Ziga kept her eyes forward, not looking at either the animal of the new stranger.

Finally, after a few moments of silence, she said, "Never did get any straight out answers myself, and I spent a whole lot of time demanding them." She sighed, recalling the sheer amount of times she had looked heavenwards, crying out for something, anything. The response was always only silence. Something inside her had soured, then. She became an entirely different person, then. Everything..... everything was different.

Koli, Ziga saw out of the corner of her eye, was growing impatient. He nudged the man with his nose, wanting to be pet again. She smirked at the dog's behavior. Even though she could smell the faint scent of liquor on the man, she was not alarmed by him. Ziga believed that animals had very good judgement on character, Koli especially. So if he was feeling at ease with the man, Ziga was too. She had a strange trust in her dog... maybe it was because she didn't feel as if there were many people to trust these days.

"Ziga." She said in way of introduction, not offering her first name. She usually never introduced herself as Annebel, though, in truth she could not remember why. Before everything had gone to hell (Well, the most recent occurrence of everything going to hell, anyway), she would look in the mirror and just feel as though her first name hadn't suited her. Now, though, she saw her face, and she could see her life behind it too. Maybe it was time to pick up her first name, shake the dust off of it and give it a go. It couldnt hurt, really...

"Annebel Ziga." She added.

but you only bring
darkness
to my soul

word count:
five two zero
lyrics:
angel of light -- petra
clothing:
clicketh!
pets:
click for koli!
notes:
muses are all mixed up xD

[JERICHO THEODORE RANSOM]

His eyes stayed to the front of the room as the female took a seat beside him. He could almost guarantee that she was a fellow staff member, mostly because not too many patients wandered the halls at that hour. Jericho shouldn't have even been awake, he was supposed to be 'sick'. Of course, that was just a cover up for him not wanting to do his shift. It wouldn't have been fair to the patients, anyways. Knowing that his mind was so clouded, well, it would prevent him from giving the patients his whole attention. The boy wasn't exactly stupid, he knew how dangerous it could be to leave a patient unguarded, especially a high risk. So, he was actually doing the asylum a favor by faking sick. At least, that's how he saw it. To be honest, he didn't really care.

Jericho swallowed hard, keeping his arms folded on his chest. He noticed the dog creep in beside the two from the corner of his eye. A warm smile lingered across his lips as he looked toward the dog, seeing that its eyes were directed to him. It was funny how an animal had the power to chase away ones anger. They were true miracle workers, though their gift only went so far. It still didn't help the fact that Jericho was pissed off, upset even. However, now that he was in the presence of a woman, well, he would just have to smarten up a bit. He never really liked showing emotions to others, especially those that made him seem weak. Then again, bottling up so much only made things worse. He needed to balance things out, to come up with a way to make it all work. If not, he would surely crash and burn.

He sat in silence as the female spoke, her words lingering in the air even after she was finished. By the sound of it, she had gone through something similar. Well, in a sense. He highly doubted that whoever she had lost was taken away by gunshot, all because of a stupid drug war. Nevertheless, losing someone, was losing someone, no matter how they went out. In the end it was all the same, they were dead, long gone with no hope of returning. He wasn't exactly sure of what to say, or how to say it. Instead he just welcomed the silence, nodding slightly to at least let her know that he had been listening. It was definitely a hard subject to discuss, especially when there were two different opinions on the matter. Jericho wasn't sure where he stood, though he wasn't going to try and bring anyone else down with him. He respected other people enough to take their religion and opinions into count.

He turned back towards the dog when felt the sudden nudging of his hand. A faint smirk played across his lips as he lifted his hand, placing it back on the canine's head. He began to pet the dog in a gentle manner, eyes traveling up to the female as she spoke. At first he wasn't completely sure what she meant by 'Ziga'. Though it didn't take him long to piece together that it was probably her last name. When she later re-introduced herself, using both her first and last name, his smirk deepened slightly. He had no idea why she chose to start off with her last name, especially when her first name was rather pretty. ”Jericho.” He felt no need to add in his whole name, the less people knew of him, the better.

WORDS
5 9 9
TAGGED
Open !
OUTFIT
Coming soooon.
MUSIC
N/A.
NOTES
N/a.[/blockquote]

[ANNEBEL TERREO ZIGA]

angel of light


i see you
glow in the night

So, he seemed like a nice man, Ziga observed. Though she had only been facing forward, she had seen him out of the corner of her eye give her the courtesy of acknowledging her words. She figured that either a) he just wasn't that much of a talker, b) he didn't welcome her company and was just too polite to say it, or c) simply had nothing to say at the moment. Ziga's nature compelled her to stay until she was certain of which option was correct.

He said a single word, Jericho. Ziga nodded herself, pondering the name for a moment, information flashing quickly through her mind. Jericho, In Hebrew, Yeriho. Israel, the City of Palm Trees. Mentioned in the Old and New Testaments. Jesus healed a blind man who lived in Jericho. Battle of Jericho. Joshua.

She stopped the thought process. Ziga's mind sometimes was like a maddening encyclopedia. It would bring up endless information, sometimes not even relevant. Of course, she wasn't like that all of the time, but now that she was sleep deprived, instead of her mind slowing down with exhaustion, it moved at a hyperactive pace.

His name was nice, she decided. It was quite lovely, unique. And poetic.... yes, she liked it.

She bowed her head, her blonde hair falling forward around her face, and closed her eyes, as though in prayer. Instead of talking to God, though, she withdrew her thoughts and senses - save for hearing, in case the man felt the need to speak to her- and fell back into the depths of her mind, returning back to her review of disorders.

Prolonged grief disorder occurred at the death of a loved one, causally, and often came from people who were highly codependent. Without someone to guide them, a person with codependency would find them self lost and falling into a depression, one they would not climb out of until they either found another person to attach to or until they received treatment for their original disorder. Ziga believed that codependency, even in it's mos severe forms, could be solved without medication, but all too often doctors would want to do away with the symptoms, and not the core problem.

Prolonged grief.... her mind traveled back to her father. An image of his smiling face flashed through her mind, his prideful gleam in his eye every time they discussed their jobs with each other. His thoughtful voice when she presented him with a problem, his mind immediately moving a million miles a minute trying to solve it. When she had been told that all of that was gone... Ziga had never felt more lost. Her teacher, her father, her home.... everything he was had been ripped away from her just like that. And she had spent so long grieving her loss. No, her grief had lasted a normal time, but she recalled the feeling his absence still so acutely... her heart constricted at the thought, and her breath caught. It had been almost a year, and she could still bring herself to tears just by picturing his face.

Suddenly a new fear presented itself in Ziga's mind. What if she truly wasn't fit to do her job? What if the loss of her father wa the final straw? After her mother, her sister, and the love of her life had all died, what if this death was the one that rendered her incapable of helping others? Was she the reason her patient had died?

The last question rattled her the most. Although she had felt guilt for Vincent's death, Ziga had never thought that she had been directly responsible for his death; that had been Saben and Saben alone. He was a psychopathic killer, and would look for any reason to kill, and just wanted a new plaything. A shudder ran through Ziga's body. Never had the thought of being responsible for Saben's behavior crossed her mind....but now... could she have stopped the mad man from taking his newest victim? After all, the only reason Saben knew about him at all was because of the bruises that had been on her face at the time.

Once, Ziga had almost considered herself like an angel. She had tried to protect as many people as she could, save them from the madness in their own minds. She tried to destroy the monster that lurked in the patients of this place, and the places she had worked before. But putting her life into perspective, there had been so much wrong on her part, and so much guilt. She had been the destruction of lives just as much, if not more, as she had been the savior of them. Ziga had been a curse just as often as she had been a blessing.

She heard Koli whine and her eyes flashed open, her bright blue eyes piercing, but did not look at the animal. She said out loud, not really to the man next to her, or anyone really, "I feel as though I don't belong her. As if He wouldn't approve of me being in His house."

If she was an angel, Ziga had long fallen from grace.

but you only bring
darkness
to my soul

word count:
eight six one
lyrics:
angel of light -- petra
clothing:
clicketh!
pets:
click for koli!
notes:
one, sorry it took so long, had a lot of stuff to do.. two, the quality of this post is basically zero. my mind couldnt hold a single train of thought for more than about thirty seconds, sooo.... yaeh